Richard Smyth's Bum Fodder: An Absorbing History of Toilet Paper PDF

By Richard Smyth

ISBN-10: 0285641204

ISBN-13: 9780285641204

This can be the hidden heritage of an invention that we use on a daily basis yet seldom dare to talk of. In medieval China it used to be state of the art know-how. For 19th-century american citizens it was once a newfangled substitute to dried corncobs and the Sears & Roebuck catalogue. Wits in Georgian London most popular pages of undesirable poetry. The sages of historic Athens have been content material to wield the xylospongion as a substitute. It's the story of bathroom paper; the biography of bumfodder. From its origins on the Imperial courtroom of Emperor Hongwu to its reinvention as a quack therapy for haemorrhoids in 1870s manhattan urban; from the Dutch and their mussel-shells to Henry VIII and his Groom of the Stool; from Madame de Prie's pioneering bidet to the space-age Washlet; from leaf-wielding chimpanzees to Mr Thirsty Fiber and the world's first three-adjective loo-roll – it's a narrative of necessity and invention, luxurious and squalor, scan and culture. What does a submarine team do while it runs out of bathroom paper? Who stole the Pope's loo-roll? Does printer's ink reason piles? How do you fold a sheet of loo paper in part greater than seven instances? What did 'bumphleteers' do, and why? Richard Smyth solutions the questions you by no means inspiration to invite concerning the product we can't dwell with out.

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Cause I’m tireless, and I’m wireless. Fm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I’m a nonbeliever, I’m an overachiever; Laid-back and fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home; low-rent, high-maintenance. I’m super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last. A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case; prematurely posttraumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate-mail But Tm feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary-care giver.

But women who are assholes aren’t called that. They’re named for a different part of their lower anatomy. They’re called cunts. Isn’t it nice that cunts and assholes are next-door neighbors? NINETY-NINE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW There are ninety-nine things you need to know: Number one: There are more than ninety-nine things you need to know. Number two: Nobody knows how many things there are to know. Number three: It’s more than three. Number four: There is no way of knowing how many things you need to Number five: Some of the things you need to know are things you already know.

Til be expecting all of you to bow deeply when you see me, and give me half your crops. Plus I’m allowed to fuck your wife. ” A man will always buy the bullshit, because a man is not too bright. But I’m not suggesting a man doesn’t have a great deal to put up with. He does. First of all, a man has to make believe he knows what he’s doing at all times. And while he’s doing whatever it is he’s doing, he has to make believe he doesn’t need any help. He has to make believe he can fix anything. And if he can’t fix it now, he’ll fix it later.

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Bum Fodder: An Absorbing History of Toilet Paper by Richard Smyth

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