P. F. Chills's Grosslumps: Tales to Irritate Your Spook Glands PDF

By P. F. Chills

ISBN-10: 1942099010

ISBN-13: 9781942099017

Right here lie 9 spooktacular, hauntifying, and ghouleriffic stories by means of horror mega-maestro P. F. Chills! A highschool the place human sacrifices are the illest. A magic button that provides killer pizza. An getting older rock band who turns enthusiasts into demons. a child who discovers his parents' divorce legal professionals are extraterrestrial beings. those tales and extra provide you with a bad, hugely contagious case of the grosslumps.

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Additional resources for Grosslumps: Tales to Irritate Your Spook Glands

Sample text

Cause I’m tireless, and I’m wireless. Fm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I’m a nonbeliever, I’m an overachiever; Laid-back and fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home; low-rent, high-maintenance. I’m super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last. A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case; prematurely posttraumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate-mail But Tm feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary-care giver.

But women who are assholes aren’t called that. They’re named for a different part of their lower anatomy. They’re called cunts. Isn’t it nice that cunts and assholes are next-door neighbors? NINETY-NINE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW There are ninety-nine things you need to know: Number one: There are more than ninety-nine things you need to know. Number two: Nobody knows how many things there are to know. Number three: It’s more than three. Number four: There is no way of knowing how many things you need to Number five: Some of the things you need to know are things you already know.

Til be expecting all of you to bow deeply when you see me, and give me half your crops. Plus I’m allowed to fuck your wife. ” A man will always buy the bullshit, because a man is not too bright. But I’m not suggesting a man doesn’t have a great deal to put up with. He does. First of all, a man has to make believe he knows what he’s doing at all times. And while he’s doing whatever it is he’s doing, he has to make believe he doesn’t need any help. He has to make believe he can fix anything. And if he can’t fix it now, he’ll fix it later.

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Grosslumps: Tales to Irritate Your Spook Glands by P. F. Chills


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